My tech dilemma

I accidentally submerged my iPhone last night. All the buttons work except for the main home button (circle at the center-bottom).

So, I need to get a new iPhone.

But before I get a new iPhone, I have to sync my old iPhone. I can't remember when I synced it last, probably because I came across the same error that I got this morning, paraphrasing: "iTunes could not back up iPhone because the current version is too old, you slacker. Update iTunes to a compatible version for this iPhone." (Also, I will never spell sync "synch" because whenever I see it spelled that way — like at work, 100% of the time — my brain sounds it out like "cinch" as in, "that'll be a cinch, honey!")

So, I need to upgrade iTunes.

I went to Apple.com and downloaded the latest version's .dmg. When it launched and began to install, it stalled and gave me an error message something like, "the OS running on your ragged-a$$ laptop is too old for this version of iTunes, you loser," and that I would need to upgrade to the latest OS.

So, I need to upgrade my OS.

I own an older MacBook Pro laptop, circa 2009 that's running OS 10.5.something. I'm fairly certain that if I upgrade the OS, it's going to break all the other software that's on the computer. Monkeyrotica is attempting to convince me that I need to break down and just buy a new laptop.

So, I need to buy a new laptop. (or refurb)

I'll just say here that my laptop was used primarily to for teleworking for my prior employer; they were kind enough to provide the programs I needed to do customer work from home. Long story short, I will need to break down and actually buy software on my own this time.

So, I need to subscribe to Adobe Creative Cloud. 

Sigh. I'm not sure what sort of year-end bonus comes with my new job, but I'm anticipating that 100% will be going into this tech venture. Thank you, Apple and Adobe for creating products that I can't live without and helping me dig myself into this tech-consumer hole.