All I have left to work are the buttons!!!
My super-kind neighbor, Gretchen (who has given Rosie many a lovely girlie hand-me-down garment, most recently: rollerblades!) helped me after I asked her several ignorant questions in a row about what "interfacing" was. She insisted on coming back with me to my house, setting up the Singer (it was in the storage closet, same place it had been since we moved in 2003), and giving me the 101 on building a shirt.
This is going to be the most bad-ass chimpanzee-Aloha-shirt EVER!