Sunday, August 19, 2007

Open letter to a (particular) dog owner

There is a reason that the National Park Service has a posted rule:


No matter how precious, friendly, darling, and good-with-kids your man's-best-friend is, keep him on a freaking leash when you're in a public area. You have no idea how your dog will react in every situation, or how long your "friendly" puppy that you let run ahead out of sight is going to keep another family with kids at bay growling, snapping-teeth, and lunging, while you are lollygagging behind, chatting with your girlfriend (long enough for a family to corral both kids on top of the stroller and make several attempts to scream "GO AWAY" to the idiot-freak dog who wouldn't leave).

The proper response when said family informs you of NPS policy, not to mention Fairfax County Law, is not,

"I'll raise my dog, you raise your kids!" and
"Mind your own damned business!"

People like you, with complete disregard for others' safety, shouldn't be allowed to raise dogs. Besides this, you were in a WATERFOWL PRESERVE! WTF were you thinking? With an unleashed dog! What if your dog killed an endangered waterfowl species? Moron!

LEASH YOUR DOG ALREADY!!! bitch. I'm bringing my mace next time.


  1. Oh. My. GOD. I freaking LOATHE people with that over-active sense of entitlement, I really do. So not cool.

  2. It's a sad state of affairs when you can't remove your head from your own ass for the 20 minutes it takes your dog to take a dump. Then again, I can't really imagine the mentality of someone who lets their agressive dog run free in a State with Right-to-Carry laws. Unless they WANT their dog shot in the skull.

    Fortunately, people like these whose parents gave them no socialization skills certainly have no survival skills, and will eventually be used by people like me for food/fuel when the coming econocataclysm arrives. In a situation where supplies of food, electricity, and law enforcement are non-existent, they will be "harvested," their skins tanned and used for clothing, their entrails for smoked sausages, and their skulls for makeshift bongs.

  3. I love how you always look on the bright side of a situation.

  4. Like Homer said, "In a world gone mad, only a lunatic is truly insane."

    In other words, when life gives you pee, make pee-aid!


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