Monday, October 01, 2007

Head not screwed on right & anniversary recap (buried within).

[just read the text in green if you want to learn how our anniversary dinner went.]

So, on Saturday afternoon, we were preparing for our wonderful evening out at Restaurant Eve, anticipating delicious tastiness and enjoying each other's company for our 10th anniversary. I took the kids over to my parents' so I could clean the house a bit before the sitter showed up (and just because the house needed it, of course), and while cleaning, what I witnessed across the street just messed with my head. Not for any rational reason, mind you. I glanced out the window and saw that my neighbors kitty-corner across the street were having an outdoor wedding (a second wedding for both bride and groom). Nice, no problem, only that I wasn't even aware of their wedding date but had talked with the bride about her engagement, etc.

It's what I saw next that got me all wiggy: my other neighbors, directly across, left their house all dressed up, heading to the wedding; then, my other neighbors, next door to me, the same; more neighbors two doors down, across the street, the same; even more two doors down, my side, the same; more from one block over, the same. Basically, everyone within three houses over from the bride's house was invited to this wedding EXCEPT US. Now, I might be PMS-ing, or just reverting back to some childhood issues of being ostracised, but this reeeeeallly bothered me.

I know it's totally illogical!! I know!! I don't even know her husband-to-be's name! We've invited her over to our place for parties, but she's declined every time and never invited us over (although her daughter comes over to play with Rosie and has been to birthday parties at our house, solo). AND, I HAD PLANS. We had reservations and were celebrating our anniversary. On top of this, I am a busy person with lots of friends and family, all local, so I really don't need to be best buds with my neighbors. I just experienced this overwhelming feeling of being cut out of something, blacklisted from some club that I never knew existed, etc. and I got kinda weepy.

AJS kept telling me that I was being ridiculous, and I know that I was. I picked up the kids, the sitter showed up, and we went out and really had a lovely dinner. I tried not to let the neighbor's wedding interfere, but it kept creeping in. We had delightful cocktails, oxtail ravioli for my appetizer, and wrapped Arctic char with pesto and Swiss chard for me. Jasmine tea and mango sorbet for dessert; all were just enough food to satisfy completely.

The next day, decided to have some closure in my own way. I went out and bought a lovely wedding card along with a gift card and dropped it off at their house, with a nice note. For further peace of mind, one of my neighbors who attended the wedding (and who knows I have exclusion issues) told me that she and the other neighbors were invited because the bride let her children pick two friends each whom they wanted to invite, which pretty much accounts for four of the houses around me. AND EVERYONE ELSE WAS CLOSE FRIENDS AND FAMILY!! Gah (banging head). Not peripheral like me who knows her name, email address and maybe five other things about her. Rosie doesn't play at their house because they have a large dog, so isn't close to their daughter; Kate is about four years older as well.

I just don't really get how my mind works sometimes. I wish I could just reassure it and it would shut up about this kind of stuff and not take it personally.



    There is no emoticon that expresses my nausea right now.

  2. Hmm, nausea? Don't know what to say about that.

    Thanks for the LOOOOVEELY DIINEER!! I love you, Mr. Monkey!

  3. Sometimes I wish I had control over what my brain obsesses on, too. Alas, we cannot.

  4. happy anniversary kids! [& hell is other people, didn't you know that?]


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